anyway...lesse...for those of you who don't read it and whatever...i'll be posting a few of the poems from my lj here...and i want honest opinions. brutal honesty is always a good thing in my book. so.
OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD
i stand up and grab the microphone
i unhook it from the stand
there's a nervous twitch in the corner of my eye
that only the obsessive compulsive man
(sitting in the front row) would notice
i bite my lip and tear at my fingernails
i crack my knuckles and push my hair back behind my ear
only to have it fall back in my face
like some sort of metaphor
for my effort to produce a poetic song
with a dreamy melody
and this isn't stage fright
this is some other form of insecurity
an insecurity that stretches beyond the spotlight
and beyond all of the faces in the crowd
if they don't like my songs tonight, will they ever?
perfection is not a goal
it is a necessity
it is not the destination
it is the journey
and as i open my mouth to sing
i find that my lips are frozen
by the fear of failure
and yet the words come streaming out
off the top of my head
and the keys of my piano prepare the path before me
like maids of honor on my wedding day
and i feel as if it is today
my groom, the music, waits for me
as the organ introduces my purity to him
in ways he's never seen
and we fall deeper into harmony
the kiss of the notes upon my lips
the comforting touch of accompaniment on my fingertips
all off the top of my head
black cats draw black stares from empty people in empty alleyways.
no one knows why, but everyone knows.
we all try to hide, but we can't help that it shows.
conversations dwindle as we wipe the dreams from our eyes.
conversations dwindle as we learn to compromise.
don't leave me now,
this is a disaster.
lose your faith in your handbag, along with your keys.
jacking off to political pornography.
all of our attempts at happiness
have failed, leaving this pale emptiness...
tall children losing sight of neverland.
my little lost boy...take my hand.
take my hand, we're off to neverneverland.
don't leave me now,
i'm a disaster.
promise me you'll stay tonight.
I AM (SORRY)
i am the thorn in your side
your poisoned apple pride
i am the promises you broke
i am the lies you spoke
i am that ugly pink dress your mother made you wear
that gnarly knot that's in your hair
i am the buzz in your ear that just won't go away
i am the cloud that turns your blue sky gray
i am the feeling you're forgetting something
the dread on sunday when you realize that monday's coming
i am your chapped lips
i am bad potato chips
i am a full stomach before the main course
the smile your "friends" always force
i am a twisted ankle on prom night
i am a shoe that doesn't fit quite right
i am the cancer in your lungs
that feeling you get when you bite your tounge
i am the reason you're afraid of love
i am a black and bloody dove
i am the nightmare that interrupts your dreams
your muffled screams
i am the mosquito sucking all your blood
i am a fake, a failure, a dud
i am yours for all it's worth
you're the reason i'm on this earth
i am yours to love and yours to hate
i am yours forever, if we start now is it too late?